Why it matters
As learning and development professionals, we consider people’s needs when designing or facilitating learning experiences. Supporting our neurodivergent coworkers calls for that same care in project meetings, collaboration, and daily work. Yet familiar habits—like adding a last-minute meeting or expecting instant answers—can create unintended barriers.
As an autistic woman with ADHD, I run into those barriers nearly every day. I navigate them through advance planning and protecting work time, but things like last-minute changes and back-to-back meetings can carry costs that may not be obvious to others.
I can’t speak for every neurodivergent person. But by sharing my experiences, I hope to make those less-visible costs easier to understand so collaboration becomes more thoughtful and effective. Here are seven ways you may be unintentionally sabotaging your neurodivergent coworkers’ workdays—and what to do instead.
1. Not communicating clear expectations
It’s hard to hit a target if it’s never set up—or if it keeps moving. Unclear expectations can be challenging for anyone, and they’re especially problematic for us neurodivergent types.
Somewhere between micromanaging exactly how every task is done and being hands-off, providing no guidance, is a sweet spot where the “what” is clearly communicated, while the “how” is left up to the individual doing the task.
One thing that can be especially frustrating for neurodivergent people is when we’re given vague instructions and then treated as if we’re being confrontational when we ask questions because we care about doing a good job. Or the person assigning the task might assume we need step-by-step instructions when really, our questions are intended to uncover unwritten rules and parameters that people often forget to communicate.
When I ask questions about an assignment, I’m working to understand the intended outcome, constraints, and priorities. Those questions help surface assumptions before they turn into avoidable revisions. It’s one of the things that makes me an effective learning experience designer.
What to do instead
- If your team or organization has a lot of unwritten rules, take some time to write them down. Documented processes and style guides will help everyone.
- When assigning tasks, clearly describe the outcome. What does success look like?
- Check for understanding to be sure all parties are aligned on the expectations.
- Communicate deadlines and priorities.
- Invite questions, and don’t get defensive when they’re asked. Assume the person is seeking clarity, not challenging authority.
2. Hijacking our day
Nothing ruins my day quite like logging in to see a meeting on my calendar that wasn’t there the day before—especially if it’s scheduled for first thing in the morning.
Autistic and ADHD brains are wired differently, generally causing challenges with executive functioning activities like planning, organizing, and initiating tasks. One of the ways I compensate for that in my everyday work is to use a planner, which I review at the end of each day to think ahead about the next day. And once this plan is in my head, it takes effort for me to adjust to changes, especially those that affect my mornings. Adding a morning meeting to my calendar can feel like moving the wrong piece in a carefully constructed Jenga tower. The whole thing collapses, and I then have to rebuild it from scratch.
For example, a client once sent a late-night email inviting me to a meeting the next morning, before my communicated start time. The meeting also ran long, cutting into time I had blocked for other work. The disruption extended beyond the call itself because I needed time to regain focus and reorganize my day. Then I ended up working late—after starting early—to make up for the time I lost.
To say that I am not a morning person is like saying Beyoncé has a few fans. Knowing this about myself, I typically block mornings on my calendar for focused work. That doesn’t mean I never take early meetings—just that I plan ahead for them. Not having the opportunity to do that in this instance caused me a great deal of unnecessary frustration.
What to do instead
- Check availability when scheduling meetings.
- Explain the purpose of any meetings you’re requesting.
- Include meeting agendas and any other materials that would help the person prepare, such as documents that will be reviewed.
- Before asking, “Can we jump on a quick call?” ask yourself whether what you want to discuss is truly urgent.
- Explicitly invite people to propose another time if you’re unsure of their availability.
Tip: If you’re accustomed to checking your coworkers’ calendars as a way to check their availability but are working with an external contractor, consider that they may be managing multiple calendars, so the one you’re looking at might not give you the full picture. When in doubt, ask.
3. Not letting us get into a flow
“Got a minute?”
A quick conversation that might seem easy to a neurotypical person can completely sidetrack a neurodivergent brain. Starting a task can take enormous effort for me. And once I’m absorbed in it, an interruption can make restarting just as difficult.
Sometimes, getting started on a task can feel like I’m driving on a service road looking for a way to get on the highway. Once I find it and get up to full speed, look out—because I’m moving fast. But an interruption can be like a big truck plowing into me and forcing me back onto that service road—where I have to find another on-ramp.
Long before I ever heard the term “neurodivergent” or knew it applied to me, I worked with a manager who fluttered around the office like the social butterfly he was, chatting with everyone. It was a great way for him to build connections, and I never doubted that he cared about me as a person. But his style of leadership interfered with my style of getting s*** done. Whenever he’d come in to shoot the breeze, it would take effort for me to get back on track after he left.
Both scheduled and unscheduled meetings can interfere with flow. A common neurodivergent experience is to enter into “waiting mode” before a meeting—often an hour or more ahead of time.
It’s also difficult to start tasks unless I know I can finish them in the block of time I have available. So, on days broken into short gaps between meetings, I have less time for the sustained concentration that design and development requires.
What to do instead
- Respect focused work time. If a coworker has blocked off time on their calendar, that means it’s important to them. If they have their door shut, or their Teams status set to “busy,” try not to interrupt them.
- Before sending a message via Teams or text, ask yourself whether it’s truly urgent or if it’s just top of mind for you in that moment. Consider using email for messages that aren’t urgent (depending on your team culture).
- When you send a message, make it clear how soon you need a response. For example, “No response needed today; please reply by Thursday.”
- Avoid calling without checking availability first, unless it’s truly urgent.
4. Expecting instant ideas
Anyone who knows me knows I am not shy about speaking my mind, answering questions, or contributing ideas. But a lot depends on the circumstances. I’ve received feedback in the past that I didn’t speak up enough in meetings. Looking back, several conditions made contributing harder:
- My role in the meeting wasn’t clear.
- Other people dominated the conversation.
- An agenda wasn’t provided beforehand.
- I wasn’t given an opportunity to formulate ideas ahead of time.
If you have team members who aren’t contributing during meetings, consider how many of the above are true. You might think they’re disengaged when really, they’re not being given the tools they need to contribute.
Again, I can’t speak for every neurodivergent person, but off-the-cuff speaking is not my strength. My best ideas come when I’ve had time to process information on my own. If you hold a brainstorming session without allowing team members quiet time to think, you could be missing out on the strongest solutions.
What to do instead
- Allow time for people to think independently. Send brainstorming topics out ahead of time.
- When you ask a question during a meeting, consider requesting 30 seconds of silence before taking responses, and invite written contributions afterward.
- Send a meeting agenda and questions ahead of time. Even a list of bullet points is very helpful.
Some people think better through conversation, and that’s okay. But when we offer more than one way to contribute, we’re not inadvertently leaving people behind who need more time to process their thoughts.
5. Making us "people" too much
Neurodivergent people vary a lot in the ways they interact with others and how much social interaction they want or need. I know plenty of neurodivergent people who gain energy through social interaction. That’s not the case for me.
Personally, I have a very small social battery—and this is true for many autistics. For me, interacting with people—even those I love—involves effort that costs energy. The more “peopling” I do in a day, the more drained I feel at the end of it.
A manager once wrote “interact more with the team” as a need for improvement on my year-end evaluation, although my performance was excellent. She had been encouraging me to go to happy hours after work, but apparently since I went straight home instead, I wasn’t a team player.
I often stack meetings so I can minimize disruptions to my workflow on other days. But recently, this habit backfired. By the end of a meeting-filled day (with cameras on), I was exhausted and needed recovery time. The next day was blessedly meeting-free, but then I got one of those “Can we jump on a quick Zoom call?” requests. I had not recovered enough, and that quick meeting created stress that it wouldn’t normally have caused.
Stacking meetings helps me protected focused work on other days, but it also concentrates the social demands that drain my energy. That experience reminded me that recovery time needs a place on my schedule too.
What to do instead
- Be careful that you don’t equate socialization with engagement or being a team player.
- Build breaks into activities that require a lot of socialization. For example, if you’re designing a facilitator-led course, include a mix of independent and group activities.
- Rather than expecting team members to socialize during their lunch break or after work (which cuts into their recovery time), create opportunities for team member connection during the workday.
- Don’t require cameras to be on for every meeting. (More on that next.)
6. Requiring cameras on
I mentioned cameras in the above section on peopling, but they’re worth another mention. There are a lot of reasons people might not want to be on camera. They might be concerned about the way they look or what’s in the background. They might need to grab a bite to eat. Or they might be experiencing Zoom fatigue after multiple meetings in a day.
For neurodivergent people, video calls are especially exhausting, for a few reasons:
- Masking is exhausting. Many of us autistics camouflage our natural behaviors and expressions to fit in with others. Prolonged masking can contribute to fatigue, stress, and serious mental and physical health challenges. Some people may say, “Oh, just be yourself!” but it’s not as easy as that.
- Being perceived can feel painful. Sometimes, I don’t want anyone looking at me—not even my dogs. It typically happens when I’m experiencing sensory overwhelm. This article explains more about this discomfort and why it happens. But the point is, sometimes I need my camera off.
- Video is distracting. Video can be distracting, especially for those of us with ADHD. If I’m not preoccupied with my own video feed—Does my face show that I’m listening? Is my dog licking herself in the background?—then I’m probably distracted by someone else’s pet, books, plants, or the view out their window.
What to do instead
- Make cameras optional unless there’s a very good reason to have them on. For example, if you have employees with hearing disabilities who need to read lips, you could ask people to turn their cameras on when speaking.
- Model turning your camera off sometimes so others feel comfortable doing the same.
- Specify in the meeting invitation that cameras are not required. That way, people know they don’t have to be camera-ready. (I, for one, enjoy being ugly in my own home.)
Tabitha Ellison shared this valuable perspective on LinkedIn:
"Let's avoid comments to anyone with camera off such as ‘We love seeing your face, maybe next time’ . . . Sometimes I can either engage meaningfully or have my camera on and I can't do both. Do we want people to ‘look’ engaged or be engaged?"
7. Ignoring sensory needs
Neurodivergent people experience sensory input differently from neurotypical people. Overhead lighting, nearby conversations, or scents like cleaning products, perfume, or food might be distracting or even debilitating to your neurodivergent colleagues.
Sensory needs vary a lot from person to person. For example, while I need a quiet working environment and have trouble filtering out background noise, my adult son (also AuDHD) finds music helpful for focusing on a task.
If you’re working in a shared space, it’s important to ask people what helps rather than assuming everyone needs the same setup. (This is one reason I’m a strong proponent for allowing a remote work option.)
What to do instead
- Offer quiet places for focused work and breaks.
- Provide options for seating and lighting where possible.
- Avoid using air fresheners, diffusers, and other scented products.
- Allow the use of sensory management tools such as headphones and sunglasses when feasible.
- Invite people to share access needs privately before an in-person meeting or learning event.
Takeaways for supporting neurodivergent coworkers
A last-minute meeting, “quick question,” or camera-on expectation can cost more energy and focus than you realize. Small changes to everyday work habits can help:
- Explain expectations and welcome clarifying questions.
- Check availability and give advance notice.
- Protect focused work time and make urgency clear.
- Share topics ahead of time and offer different ways to contribute.
- Respect social limits and build in breaks.
- Make cameras optional whenever possible—and mean it.
- Consider varying sensory needs.
These are starting points. Neurodivergent people have different needs, so ask your coworkers what helps them do their best work, listen to their answers, and follow through.
Further reading
If you’re looking for additional ways to support neurodivergent team members, check out these links:
And don’t miss my past posts related to neurodiversity:
