Introduction
In last week’s post, I shared five general guidelines for using plain language to improve learning outcomes. This week, I get into the nitty-gritty with four specific tips to make your instructional writing clearer and more engaging.
Focus Your Paragraphs
Most people skim rather than read every word, particularly in online media. In fact, a study by the University of Bath found that people are more likely to read information at the beginning of paragraphs and pages. Writing short paragraphs in your instructional writing helps ensure that learners read more of the content.
Focus on one specific topic or idea in each paragraph. Also, white space helps with reading comprehension, so use that return button freely!
Your English teachers may have told you that a paragraph must have at least five sentences. However, writing for instruction is not the same as writing an essay. You don’t necessarily need to include a topic sentence, a few sentences about the topic, and a summary sentence. You just need to get your point across.
It’s even okay if a paragraph has only one sentence!
Tighten Up Your Sentences
Using short sentences in your instructional writing reduces cognitive load and helps learners process the information more easily. The more complex your subject matter, the shorter the sentences should be.
To help with readability, keep the subject, verb, and object close together. Adding modifiers and phrases between these essential parts makes the sentence more difficult to understand.
Let’s look at an example of a wordy sentence we can tighten up by moving or deleting words that come between the essential parts of the sentence—the subject, verb, and object—which are bolded in this example.
Before
In the event that an employee requests a transfer, the supervisor, at his or her sole discretion and upon written notice to the HR Director, must approve or deny, by entering a notice of approval or denial into the system within 14 days of receipt, the transfer request.
After
If an employee requests a transfer, the supervisor must approve or deny it in the system within 14 days and provide written notice to the HR Director.
In the original example, the subject is “the supervisor,” the verb is “must approve or deny,” and the object is “the transfer request.” Notice how many words come between these essential parts of the sentence? In the revised example, the object has been replaced by “it” to reduce repetition, and all the essential parts are together.
Choose Precise and Concise Words
Don’t try to impress learners with big words or authoritative-sounding phrases. Be intentional in your word choices, and look for ways to shorten sentences where possible.
The federal plain language guidelines emphasize that the present tense is the simplest and strongest form of a verb, so use the present tense whenever it makes sense to do so. Consider this example.
Before
This section describes actions that would be required for supervisors submitting personnel transfer requests.
After
This section tells you how to submit personnel transfer requests.
The revised sentence not only changes the verb tense but also speaks directly to the reader, which was a tip shared in last week’s post.
Another way to improve readability is to reduce prepositional phrases, which often add unnecessary bulk and make sentences harder to read. Can you think of one-word replacements for each prepositional phrase in this list?
- At this point in time
- With regard to
- In the event that
- In order to
- Of the opinion
Answers: 1: now, 2: about, 3: if, 4: to, 5: think
Now let’s look at a few examples of how to tighten up wordy sentences by removing some prepositional phrases. (Earn some nerdy bonus points for recognizing the movie/book references!)
Before
- In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings at a rate of 43 times for every second.
- To avoid the danger of being corrupted by the influence of the ring, each bearer must limit their possession of the ring.
- It is of utmost importance that one endeavors to be prepared by packing a towel and having it at the ready when embarking upon intergalactic travel.
After
- A swallow must beat its wings 43 times a second to maintain air-speed velocity.
- Don’t carry the ring too long, or it may corrupt you.
- Pack a towel when traveling intergalactically.
Using fewer words is not always the best solution if it means replacing multiple words with one, less common word. For example, saying “heretofore” instead of “before now” is not good use of plain language for instructional writing.
Prepositional phrases aren’t the only culprit in wordy sentences. Consider these additional examples.
Before
- Concerning the matter of
- Regardless of the fact that
- Prior to
- Last but not least
- It is important to note that
After
- About
- Although
- Before
- Finally
- (No replacement—delete this wordiness!)
Be Clear About Who's Doing What
A few years ago, a local TV news station reported about a political candidate who was caught on camera stealing his opponent’s campaign signs. The candidate issued a statement saying, “Sometimes in the heat and rush of a campaign, mistakes are made.” Notice how he didn’t say, “I made a mistake.”
Don’t write like a politician speaks. Using the passive voice (“mistakes are made”) doesn’t tell you who did the action and can make your writing unclear. Use the active voice to make it clear who’s doing what. Use action verbs and put the “doer” first.
My favorite tip for identifying the passive voice comes from Rebecca Johnson (@johnsonr), who tweeted the following tip in 2012.
Try inserting “by zombies” after the verb. If the sentence make sense, you’re using the passive voice. Try it out in these examples:
- Transfers may be requested (by zombies) at any time.
- The employee transfer request must be approved or denied (by zombies) within 14 days.
- Employees will be notified (by zombies) of the decision within 20 days.
It’s okay to use the passive voice occasionally if you don’t know who did the action (or it’s unimportant) or if you want to stress the object rather than the action. However, the more active voice you use in your writing, the clearer and more engaging it will be.
Summary
In this post, I shared four tips for using plain language in your instructional writing. The graphic provides a summary of these tips, plus the five I shared last week.
We Want to Hear from You!
Share your writing tips or questions in the comments!
Want to Learn More?
Here are some resources to help you improve your instructional writing:
- Plain Language Guidelines
- Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips blog
- Write and Organize for Deeper Learning by Patti Shank (Also see Christy Tucker’s review)
- 6 Tech Writing Tips for Instructional Designers, from eLearning Industry
- Word Choice handout from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill’s Writing Center
- The Hemingway App
- Grammarly’s Writing Assistant
- From this blog:
So long and thanks for all the fish!
